Very powerful note that I made while listening to some random youtube podcast.

The more people feel attacked, the more their self-esteem is on the line there, and this feels like an attack on themselves as a person not on the ideas they present.

For you, it’s clear that we are just discussing facts here, right now. But for them, their whole worldview is being under attack, so they may not be able to acknowledge your best/friendly intentions or professional and unemotional approach.

If you have to achieve common ground, asking questions could be powerful – ask what’s their assertion based on, if it’s about feeling, then I will say: I just want to lay down some basic assumptions that are our common ground.